Living Nightmare
by sapphire-child
Summary: An old fic written before season three started airing. Starts where “Live Together, Die Alone” leaves off. That night, Claire has a nightmare and her worst fears are confirmed when in her waking hours, it seems to be coming to life before her very eyes.
1. Part 01

Title: Living Nightmare 1/3  
Spoilers: season two finale  
Warnings: Dark fic, angst, language.  
**ORIGINAL POST DATE: 04/10/2006**  
Summary: Starts where "Live Together, Die Alone" leaves off. That night, Claire has a nightmare and her worst fears are confirmed when in her waking hours, it seems to be coming to life before her very eyes. Very AU now.  
Disclaimer: I wish I owned Lost because dangnamit how awesome would this be? I mean really…  
Authors Notes: This has been all discredited now but at the time, this was what I envisioned season three to be. Funny that I had Claire seeing visions of Charlie dying and we had something very similar on the show but with Desmond.

* * *

It was early in the morning and Claire was tidying her shelter when Charlie came running up, his hair wildly tousled by the morning breeze. She wanted to reach out and flatten it a little, smooth it back against his head where it belonged but before she could do anything, he took both her hands in his and stared at her, silently earnest.

"Are you going somewhere?" Claire asked quickly, noticing for the first time that he had his backpack slung across his shoulders. Like his guitar, it was one of his possessions that was as familiar as the ring on his right hand, the checkered shoes on his feet, the twisted leather necklace around his neck…

"I'm going with Hurley," Charlie said simply, as though it explained everything. His voice was breathless from running. "I don't know when I'll be back." Leaning forward, he planted a sweet kiss on her forehead. "I love you."

"I love you too," Claire murmured back, her eyes shut as she breathed in deep. She frowned – Charlie had always had a very distinctive smell to him but this Charlie was all salt and sand and rotted vegetation…

Charlie pulled back abruptly and without even pausing to look back at her, he strode off down the beach, following the large silhouette of Hurley. Claire watched him go feeling uneasy. Her arms wrapped around her stomach as the cold began to claw up her spine and then she was running through the jungle, branches tearing long scratches across her fine skin. She screamed his name as she ran – he had to hear it, had to."Charlie! Charlie!"

She burst out of the trees and back onto the beach, a scene of bloody carnage meeting her with a foul, twisted grin. A blur of blue sky and yellow beach swirled around her as she spun in a wide circle, smoke and blood mingling together, enough to make her gag but she had to find him and so she began to search the bodies strewn across the shoreline. There were bodies everywhere, the coppery smell of blood mingling with the fiery scent of gunpowder to create a potent cocktail that smelt like death. There had evidently been a battle here not long ago – the fires were still burning as she searched frantically, tears running through the collection of smoky ash on her face as she continued to call his name but all of these bodies were unmoving and she didn't recognise any of them…

She had all but given up hope when one of the bodies stirred feebly. Racing over, she skidded onto her knees and rolled Charlie onto his back. Despite the fact that she knew it was him, it was still a shock when she flipped him over. His body seemed mostly unmarred, the occasional scratch or mark – except for the gaping hole in his gut where someone had clearly shot him. Her eyes moved frantically up his body and what she saw made her cry out in horror – his face was almost unrecognisable. His nose was completely crushed, one ear had been almost torn off, half of his teeth were missing…

Claire gathered him into her arms swiftly, desperate to offer him some small semblance of comfort. For a moment she wasn't even sure if he knew she was there but then one of his hands clawed upwards and found her shirt, leaving half a bloody handprint there. She gazed into his face and…god, his eyes were pale. So pale and blank and she didn't think that he could even see her – didn't even know if he could feel her arms or know she was there.

She began to whisper his name over and over, a soft keening mantra and Charlie suddenly began to cough, a violent storm of blood staining the front of Claire's shirt, dripping down the front of her like some nightmarish dye. And as she held him in her arms, as he trembled and shook and choked on his own blood, he drew a final heaving breath and the hand clutching her shirt fell away quite gently.

Leaning her head down to hide the sobs that had paralysed her throat, Claire pressed her lips to his bloody forehead, the copper of his blood mixing with the salted sand as she began to give herself over to the complete overwhelming sensation of grief.

"Claire?"

She looked up from his body and screamed.

* * *

Of all the things Charlie had expected of Claire when he had come to see her this morning, this certainly wasn't it.

"Christ!"

Charlie took a hurried step backwards as Claire screamed and launched herself from the sand, reaching for him, her fingers snarled like claws. He flinched in pain as her fingernails found the flesh of his forearms and tore through his skin but he didn't step back, instead he reached forward to grab her wrists, trying to calm her down, repeating her name over and over again. Despite himself, Charlie was reminded of the time that she had woken from another nightmare and days later he had found himself swinging from a tree.

It was not an experience he wished to repeat.

"Claire," he said as loudly and clearly as he could. "It's Charlie. It's just me, just Charlie okay? Calm down okay? You just had a nightmare…"

Claire took a deep breath and for a moment Charlie thought she might be all right but then she began to scream again, trying to fight off the hands that were so tight around her wrists.

Charlie struggled against her for several seconds – she was surprisingly strong for someone so small and he was close to losing his grip on her. And then, in a moment of impulsive genius, he grabbed her by the shoulders and smashed his lips up against hers.

It worked. Claire's arms fell limp to her sides as Charlie slowly softened the kiss and then she collapsed against him slowly, sobbing, her lips falling away from his as her knees buckled and she fell into his arms.

Charlie held her on her feet for what felt like an hour as she cried into his shoulder, not even able to muster the coherency to explain herself, just crying. Charlie held her tightly, terrified and close to tears himself. Whatever she'd been dreaming, it must have been pretty shocking to garner this sort of a response from her. Which is why he was so surprised when she cried out again and pushed him away with such force that he actually fell backwards into the sand. Her tear blurred eyes trained on him, she took several small steps backwards and then collapsed to the sand too, her legs curled underneath her body and one hand against her cheek as though she'd just been slapped.Charlie approached her carefully, crawling across the sand to her. A small crowd had gathered now and were watching fearfully from the sidelines as Charlie reached out a tentative hand to touch Claire's shaking shoulder. To his great relief, she didn't lash out this time. His forearm stung madly from where she had dragged her nails into the skin.

"Claire?" Charlie paused as her eyes flew up to meet his; the dark rims around her infinitely paler irises seemed three shades darker than usual, an almost endless black. "Are you okay?" he bent in a little closer and she shied away from him, wriggling backwards through the sand. Non-plussed, Charlie allowed her a moment before repeating his question, not leaning in this time.

She didn't answer.

"Did you have a nightmare?" he asked, his voice gentle.

Claire nodded her head and then frowned and shook it again, opening her mouth with a frustrated look on her face. Charlie paused, waiting for her to verbalise her thoughts.

"Not a nightmare," she managed finally, her voice rasped and she had to clear her throat and repeat what she'd said.

"What then?" Charlie pressed.Claire opened and closed her mouth noiselessly for a moment and Charlie began to get to his feet. "Okay, well how about you just sit down for a minute while I go get you some water…"

"_No_."

Charlie stopped where he was, Claire's hand in a death grip on his left bicep. It was the first word she had uttered with such conviction and force that he was inclined to stop and listen to her reasoning. She paused to take a breath and then looked up at him through eyelashes sparkling with tears.

"No. Just…please come and sit with me at my shelter for a little while."

Charlie obliged readily, allowing Claire to lead the way back to her shelter – less than ten metres seemed like an infinite journey. The other survivors who had emerged sleepily from their shelters to see what the fuss was all about eyed them curiously as Claire led Charlie to her shelter, holding tight to his hand. Charlie swallowed nervously as their eyes followed them.

When Claire sat down next to Aaron's cradle – where he lay, mercifully still asleep – Charlie noticed for the first time that she had actually started trembling at some point and now her hands were shaking that badly that she had to twine her fingers together to still them. Charlie sat nervously at the other end of her shelter but Claire looked up sharply at him and gestured him closer, closer, closer until he was sitting right next to her.

"You going to tell me what all that was about?" Charlie said presently, worrying the torn skin on his forearms. "And why you felt the need to rip my arms to pieces?"Claire looked down at his arms and a flicker of embarrassment crossed her face.

"Sorry," she said but didn't elaborate any further, her attention returning to her hands – still trembling and shaking.

They sat in uncomfortable silence for a long while and Charlie fidgeted restlessly. There had never been a time when they had felt this uncomfortable in each other's presence – even back when they had first met. Finally he couldn't stand it anymore and he spoke again, hoping to get some sort of reaction from her – anything.

"Look, obviously you had a nightmare of some kind or something so do you want to talk about it or what?"

"Or what," Claire muttered immediately.Charlie threw his hands up into the air and stood. "Fine. Clearly you don't want to tell me what's bothering you so how about I go on my merry way and you can come and get me when you feel like you can talk to me."

"No, wait," Claire stood up too, her fingers slipping on empty air as she tried to catch his hand.

Charlie pulled his arm out of her reach. "You kissed me yesterday Claire," he said bluntly. "This morning I come and find you – you're sleepwalking, you're terrified and suddenly you won't talk to me about it."

"You want to talk about last night?" Claire snapped, suddenly angry. "Fine! Which bit did you want to psychoanalyse Charlie?"

"I don't want to psychoanalyse anything!" Charlie snapped back, his anger matching hers instantly. "I just want to know that you're really all right! You wake up _screaming_, you attack me when I try to comfort you and _then_ you act like there's nothing wrong at all and yet you wont let me leave you!"

"That's because I'm bloody _scared_!" Claire shrieked. "Jesus Charlie! I don't _want_ to talk about anything right now – I just need someone to sit with me, just i be /i there for me until I can wrap my brain around this awful dream I've just had…"

"I think we need to talk," Charlie interrupted her flatly. "I don't care if we don't talk about your nightmare or whatever it was but we need to talk about last night at the very least – I don't know what to expect from you right now and that's not fair."

"I don't _want_ to talk," Claire said petulantly.

"Well if you don't want to talk then I don't want to sit here with you," Charlie said abruptly and before Claire could stop him, he began to storm back off down the beach. She sat there for a long frozen moment, wringing her hands and glancing from Charlie's rapidly retreating back to her son, who had woken and begun to cry although she couldn't remember exactly when.

"Charlie!" she called after him pleadingly but he ignored her. Claire panicked. Abandoning her son she chased after Charlie, grabbing him by the shoulder and swinging him around.

"It wasn't a nightmare," she burst out. "I saw you…I saw you die. But it wasn't a nightmare."

As soon as the words were out of her mouth Claire knew that she had said it in the completely wrong way. Charlie's face seemed to crumble before her, his mouth turned down and his eyes seemed to go greyer as she watched.

"No!" she said suddenly. "I mean…it's not that…Charlie…"

"I think I know what you mean," Charlie said shortly. "Last night…you didn't…I can't believe I thought…" he looked liable to burst into tears or punch something. He ended up kicking a spray of sand towards the ocean instead.

"You don't understand!" Claire felt herself close to tears again. "It wasn't a dream! It wasn't a nightmare! It was _real_."

"Oh so last night when you kissed me _wasn't_ real?" Charlie snapped. "You can't just fucking play around with people's heads like that Claire!"

"I'm _not_," Claire insisted. "If you'd just listen to me for a second…"

"I'm done with listening!" Charlie yelled. "All I did for two months was bloody listen to you!" he affected a horrible, mocking voice. "'I'm a terrible mother, I should have given the baby up for adoption, help me, save me, leave me alone I don't want to talk to you ever again, oh my life's been such a sad story – lost and alone on a deserted island with no daddy for my poor baby.'"

Claire flinched. "Charlie…"

"Did you ever once ask me if _I_ was okay?" Charlie steamed on, he almost seemed to have forgotten that Claire was there and was just venting. The other survivors were peeking out of their shelters again. "Did you ever think that maybe _I_ was having a tough time too? That maybe _I_ needed some help? That maybe _I_ needed someone who I could confide in? You wonder why I didn't tell you about the sodding drugs? Look at the way you reacted!"

"Because you lied to me!" Claire burst out, disbelieving. "If you'd just told me back at beginning then maybe we wouldn't still be on about the fucking drugs!"

The two of them stared at each other for a long moment, glowering, before Charlie's face creased into an expression of bewilderment.

"Did you just say fuck?"

Claire let out a derisive snort and stormed back to her tent, Charlie staring after her.

It wasn't until her crying son was in her arms that she remembered what their argument had been about in the first place. Swinging back around, she chased after Charlie's retreating figure for the second time, wheeled him around to face her and smashed her lips up against his in a kiss with enough force to bruise.

Charlie obviously wasn't sure how to react to this – he seemed frozen until she forced her tongue into his mouth and then he reeled back, away from her. Even then, despite his obvious anger, he looked like he wanted to kiss her again.

"Don't believe me if you want," Claire said heatedly. "Just don't you _dare_ go anywhere with Hurley."

She felt his eyes burn incredulous holes into her back as she stormed over to her shelter again. Aaron was silent in her arms as though he was scared of her as well.


	2. Part 02

Title: Living Nightmare 2/3  
Spoilers: season two finale  
Warnings: Dark fic, angst, language.  
**ORIGINAL POST DATE: 04/10/2006**  
Summary: Starts where "Live Together, Die Alone" leaves off. That night, Claire has a nightmare and her worst fears are confirmed when in her waking hours, it seems to be coming to life before her very eyes. Very AU now.  
Disclaimer: I wish I owned Lost because dangnamit how awesome would this be? I mean really…  
Authors Notes: This has been all discredited now but at the time, this was what I envisioned season three to be. Funny that I had Claire seeing visions of Charlie dying and we had something very similar on the show but with Desmond.

* * *

The day passed slowly. Charlie fumed up one end of the beach, swearing and sputtering like a volcano, his fingers attacking his guitar strings whilst Claire remained edgy, shaken by the technicolour images from her dream, which kept returning to her minds eye. She was also quite shocked at herself and the way she had spoken to Charlie – never had she been so bold with him before and it frightened her a little. She paced restlessly, over analysing all of her motives and actions, jigging Aaron in her arms to distract her and she completely missed the return of Sayid's team.

What exactly had happened she didn't hear but from what she picked up from the other survivors, it seemed like the Others had the upper hand again. She considered giving in and asking Charlie what he knew – he'd been in the thick of the action since the team had arrived back – but remembering the expression on his face when she'd kissed him…

She wouldn't worry. Only if Hurley came back alone and tried to take Charlie away with him – then she would have to do something. Somehow she knew, whether by simple women's intuition or something deeper and more mysterious, Hurley was bad news for Charlie at the moment. She didn't now how or why, she just felt it – and her dream had certainly spelt it out quite clearly for her.

Claire had dabbled in dream analysis before, a natural progression from Astrology she'd thought but as it turned out, the link between the two of them was weak and dreams weren't nearly as tangible as the stars. Their preciseness had been what had captivated her to start with. They were something constantly tangible in a turbulent world of misplaced fathers, plane crashes and mysterious, nameless monsters.

The sudden arrival of a highly irate Sun pulled Claire out of her thoughts. She'd rarely seen Sun angry before – and certainly never with a scowl like this on her face.

"What's wrong?" she asked as Sun let out a vehement string of Korean words that Claire was certain were curses.

"I'm sick of translating battle tactics back and forth," Sun huffed, plonking down on a cushion. Claire joined her momentarily, still jigging Aaron nervously. "I feel horrible sick today and Jin is getting more and more frustrated and I just cannot be bothered!" crossing her arms and affecting an even deeper scowl, Sun began to sulk a little but stopped when Claire addressed her again.

"So…so you know what's going on then?"

"Not really," Sun sighed. "We don't know what's happened to Jack's team. Bernard and a few others went to the hatch to see if John and Desmond and Eko are still alive and they have not returned yet."

Claire paused to process this then asked hesitantly, "What actually happened at the hatch? I didn't really get a chance to ask Charlie…"

Sun eyed her beadily. "He doesn't remember a lot of it. But he thinks that it may have exploded."

"_Exploded_?"

Sun nodded worriedly. "I know. I hope the ones who were in there are alright."

"Me too," Claire's thoughts lingered on the three men as Sun swivelled her head restlessly and then gave a loud exclamation."Oh! Look!"

Claire's head drifted up but when she saw the source of Sun's excitement she was on her feet immediately, passing her son into Sun's arms.

"Hurley's back but Jack and Kate and Sawyer aren't…Claire?"

"Look after Aaron for me,"

"What? Claire!" Sun's hand caught her sleeve and Claire spun around, a pleading look on her face.

"Please Sun, I need to go get Charlie – you don't understand…" Sun regarded her silently. "I can't let Hurley go near him."

Sun stared. Claire could tell she was still staring as she strode up the beach as fast as her legs could take her. As she got closer she scoped out the situation. Hurley was surrounded by a ring of people and he looked utterly exhausted. There were twigs and leaves caught in his curly hair and dark circles under his eyes. Sayid was standing right in front of him, barraging him with questions and – Claire's stomach swooped like she was on a roller coaster – Charlie had a supportive hand on his friends shoulder.

Before anyone quite knew where she had come from, Claire strode up, right into the middle of the group of people, placed her hands on Hurley's shoulders and pushed him.

There was an immediate, shocked, outcry from the crowd as Claire continued to push Hurley back and away. Vaguely she felt people grabbing at her from behind but she ignored them and continued to push Hurley, who shied away from her resilient hands.

"Dude! What the hell!"

"_You. _Stay away!" Claire gave him one last push and then pointed a threatening finger into his face. "I mean it Hurley – don't you come near us!"

The next thing she was aware of was a pair of arms around her waist, pinioning her arms to her sides.

"Let go of me!" She raged, becoming even more incensed when she realised that it was Charlie. She was trying to _help_him, not get him involved!

"It's just _Hurley_Claire! What the hell is wrong with you?"

Claire struggled against his arms, utterly wild, her hair a mess of flyaway's. Charlie struggled against her for a moment, his arms held fast around her waist. Claire, frustrated, stopped struggling and his grip loosened slightly.

"Are you okay?" he murmured in her ear but her only answer was to slip down and out of his embrace. The crowd gave a collective gasp and Hurley took several worried steps backwards, but Claire didn't even look at him, opting instead to snatch Charlie's hand up and begin to tug him away.

"Wait!" Charlie pulled his hand out of her grasp. "Claire, can you please just _talk_to me? I'm just getting more and more confused by all of this and…"

"Then come and sit with me," Claire said insistently. "I promise I'll answer every question just…" Charlie stared at her intently, it was impossible to tell what he was thinking. Claire sighed. "Please just listen to me. Just one more time."

Charlie hesitated and the entire crowd held their breath, their heads swivelling back and forth from the two of them.

And then he nodded.

It took the better part of an hour to exhaust his questions about the previous night as well as her nightmare and Claire was tired by the end of it all but very relieved at the same time. Telling Charlie she had seen him die didn't seem quite so bad when he was sitting right beside her, his body heat blending with hers – just as telling him that she forgave him and wanted to try it all again felt stronger said in words than in the chaste kiss she had given him the day before.

"You know we could have avoided this whole fighting thing if you'd just told me all this outright?" Charlie grinned at her. "We're a right pair of idiots aren't we? We never seem to learn."

Claire grinned back tiredly. "I'm just glad that you're not angry at me anymore. I was the angry one for a long time – I guess I just got my own dosage served right back at me didn't I?"

"Karma," Charlie said vaguely. "It's good fun stuff eh?"

"Indeed," Claire leant back against her bed comfortably and after a moment, Charlie joined her. The two of them were seated in the sand on a blanket. Aaron had crashed out for an afternoon nap and they hadn't been bothered by anyone yet - presumably they were all still theorising on a plan although by the looks of the sky, Claire didn't think they would get a rescue party going out there tonight. Claire had to admit that she was enjoying the peace – being back in Charlie's company felt good, like he really belonged here, beside her and her son, talking gently in the lengthening shadows of afternoon.

On a whim – and mirroring her actions of the previous night – Claire took his hand in hers and squeezed it, turning her face towards his to offer him another tired smile.

"I missed you," she murmured. "I missed this - _us_."

Charlie offered her a small smile in return, the far corners of his lips turning upwards as he squeezed her hand back. "Me too."

For a long moment Claire considered kissing him again but she settled instead for placing her head on his shoulder, nestling into him and closing her eyes. So long as Charlie stayed away from Hurley – and she had told him this quite explicitly – she would be happy.

With everything in the world feeling so right all of a sudden, it seemed logical that she would be paranoid. That was probably why she had the dream in the first place – now that she had him back she didn't want to lose him. Her subconscious was obviously a lot smarter than she was and was trying to tell her not to let him go now that she had him back.

Just before she drifted into a doze, she felt Charlie press his lips against her hair and her face smiled of its own accord.

* * *

The next morning dawned warm and bright but Claire opened her eyes to find a dark emptiness between her arms where Charlie had lain the night before.

Sitting up frantically, she scanned the immediate area for him. Perhaps he just ducked into the jungle to go to the loo? After five minutes of agonising waiting, she checked around her shelter for footprints but in the soft sand it was impossible.

Maybe he went back to his own tent to get something? Claire scooped a dozy Aaron into her arms and trotted over to his shelter.It was empty.Beginning to feel a little panicky now, Claire ducked down a little lower to examine his belongings. Brushing a strand of hair behind her ear she scanned his effects. Was there anything missing? His guitar was still there, and his suitcase…

His black backpack.

Claire swore softly as she backtracked to her own tent. The camp was beginning to wake up, slowly. The early risers were lighting fires, finding something for their morning meals or boiling herbal mixtures in water for the closest thing to coffee they could find.

"You're up early,"

Claire jumped at the sound of Rose's voice. The older woman seemed unfazed by Claire's jittery state however, and continued rummaging through the remains of the communal pantry for a breakfast of some kind.

"Yeah," Claire hitched Aaron a little higher in her arms. "I'm looking for Charlie. Have you seen him?"

"Not since before," Rose finally chose a box of cereal and Claire took a slow, controlled breath. "I think he went with the team who're heading off to rescue Jack and the others."

"They left already?" Claire said quickly. "What about the team from the hatch? Did they…?"

"They got back first thing this morning," Rose explained. "Sayid is leading one team on foot and there's another going by boat with Jin and Sun."

"Who's going?" Claire pressed urgently. "Do you know?"

Rose pursed her lips, thinking hard. "Well Desmond and Bernard went with Jin and Sun. John's still in a pretty bad way so he's resting. Neill went with one of the teams too I think. I'm sure Charlie went with Sayid and Hurley."

"Charlie went with _Hurley_?"

"And Sayid, I think," Rose shrugged. "I don't really know. Did you want some breakfast?" she offered the box to her.

"No," Claire said quickly. "Just…can you watch Aaron for a while? Please? I need to get Charlie. I need to tell him something."

"Can't it wait?" Rose said, befuddled, as she took Aaron into her arms.

"No," Claire shook her head vehemently. "No it can't. I'll be back as soon as I can okay?"

"Of course," Rose said, still looking bewildered. "Just make sure you don't get lost looking for them. They're already going to be in front of you by about a half an hour."

"I know." Claire touched her son hesitantly and then, without another word, she hurried off into the jungle.


	3. Part 03

Title: Living Nightmare 3/3  
Spoilers: season two finale  
Warnings: Dark fic, angst, language.  
**ORIGINAL POST DATE: 04/10/2006**  
Summary: Starts where "Live Together, Die Alone" leaves off. That night, Claire has a nightmare and her worst fears are confirmed when in her waking hours, it seems to be coming to life before her very eyes. Very AU now.  
Disclaimer: I wish I owned Lost because dangnamit how awesome would this be? I mean really…  
Authors Notes: This has been all discredited now but at the time, this was what I envisioned season three to be. Funny that I had Claire seeing visions of Charlie dying and we had something very similar on the show but with Desmond.

* * *

Claire was surprised at how quickly she found the team. Having no tracking abilities whatsoever, she relied mostly on instinct but it still didn't take her long – running as fast as she was – to find them.

Within moments of running into them, Charlie was crashing his way through the underbrush towards her, a look of abject terror on his face, Hurley and Sayid in hot pursuit behind him. Claire was bent right over, trying to quell the pain of the stitch in her side but she still smiled broadly when she felt Charlie's concerned hand on her back.

"Claire! What the hell are you doing out here?"

"Looking for you," she said, straightening up, gasping for breath. Charlie looked her over, his hands gripping her shoulders as she swayed unsteadily.

"Bloody hell Claire, did you even bring water with you? It looks like you just got out of bed and ran into the jungle."

Claire's cheeks coloured slightly and Charlie actually blanched.

"You didn't. Please tell me that you didn't."

Claire tried to grin. "I did,"

Charlie immediately prised the lid off his water bottle and pressed it to her lips. He seemed almost angry with her but from the concerned expression on his face, Claire knew he was just worried.

"You're mad Claire," Charlie murmured. "You're beautiful and wonderful and all but you're utterly mad sometimes."

Claire drank gratefully but found herself wiping her mouth and pushing the bottle away after only a few sips. "Maybe so but I had to find you. I had to bring you back."

"Claire…"

"No, Charlie, you don't…" Claire interrupted.

"Who's watching Aaron?" Charlie interjected. Claire's mouth snapped shut as the guilt began to seep into her conscious.

"Um…Rose?"

"You left him with Rose to come out here and get me?"

Claire nodded.Charlie ran a hand through his hair looking utterly bewildered. "Bloody hell…Claire…I…have you gone completely off your rocker?"

"That's not the point," Claire said dismissively."It's _entirely_ the point. If you start neglecting your child to..." Charlie began.

Claire gaped. "I am _not_ neglecting my child!"

"Did you even nurse him before you left?" Charlie demanded.

"That's none of your bloody business! You…" Claire stopped herself. "Oh god…we're fighting again aren't we?"

Charlie looked distinctly uncomfortable and glanced over at Hurley and Sayid who were studiously ignoring the two of them. "Yeah I think we are."

There was a long and awkward silence and then Claire reached up to touch Charlie's cheek.

"Don't," he said instantly, pushing her hand away. "I know what you're going to say. You want me to come back with you."

Claire sighed. "Yes I am. And you're going to say no aren't you?"

Charlie gave her a grim smile.

"Listen," Claire began, then paused to gather her thoughts before continuing on. "We aren't going to live forever," she reasoned. "This place…its dangerous Charlie. And I'm not going to waste the time that I _do_ have on stupid arguments." Her voice softened here and her eyes grew pleading as she took his hands in hers and squeezed them gently. "I want to spend it with _you_, Charlie."

Charlie stared at her, rather taken aback. "Claire…"

"Look," Claire sighed. "I think I know why you're out here but you don't _have_ to prove anything to me okay? I know that you lo- that you care about me."

"I'm not trying to prove anything," Charlie said, honestly surprised. "I really want to help save them. After the amount of times Jack's saved my skin I kind of feel like I owe it to him you know? It has nothing to do with proving myself to you because if I haven't done that yet then I'm bollocksed anyway."

"Charlie…"

"No," he interrupted her firmly. "I've made up my mind. I know that you're worried, that your dream is going to come true but I've made my mind up now. I promise I'll come back."

Claire frowned. "You can't promise that."

"What?"

"I said, you can't promise me that," Claire repeated hotly. "Promises don't meant anything to me Charlie – I've had too many of them broken over the years."

"Well then what now?" Charlie threw his hands up in the air. "We're in a stalemate. You obviously aren't going to go back to camp without me and I'm not going on until you're back with Aaron."

"Aaron will be fine with Rose," Claire said, although she still sounded a little unsure.

Charlie scoffed. "Sure. So what, you're going to come with us then are you?"

Claire folded her arms over her stomach. Her breathing had almost returned to normal now. "Yes."

"That is out of the question," Sayid jumped into the conversation. "You would only slow us down."

Claire whipped around to glare at him. "_Slow you down_? I'm not pregnant anymore Sayid, I can keep up with you just fine!"

"With legs that short?" Hurley chimed in, laughing a little but stopping when Claire turned her death-glare onto him. He cleared his throat nervously. "Sorry."

"What if we get attacked?" Sayid rationalised. "You've never been on a mission like this before Claire – I cannot compromise the risks. And if you were injured who would look after Aaron?"

"Exactly," Charlie chipped in, he was obviously feeling more comfortable in arguing with Claire now that he had back up from the other two. "And you have no idea how to defend yourself if you get attacked."

"These are all really good arguments," Claire agreed. "But you also haven't taken some things into consideration. Like the fact that I can act as bait."

"Dude, you actually _want_ to be bait?" Hurley said incredulously.

Claire merely shrugged. "I seem to be good at it."

Charlie shook his head. "No bloody way. Claire…"

"I also remember a lot of what happened to me when Ethan took me," Claire offered, speaking directly to Sayid who was looking thoughtful now. "I can help you – if you'll let me."

There was a long silence and then Sayid nodded. "We cannot afford to delay anymore. If you must come then you will walk up the front with me – it will be safer if we are ambushed."

"If we're _ambushed_?" Charlie said shrilly. "Now hang on justa minute…"

Sayid held up a hand and Charlie's voice stumbled into silence.

"If Claire really wants to come with us then I am certain none of us will be able to dissuade her," Sayid said quietly. "As it is we must move on. I cannot afford to waste anymore time on pointless arguments. Either we move on or we give up the mission altogether."

"What if we _do_ get ambushed?" Charlie said, turning to Claire. "No offence love, you're a vicious fighter with those evil fingernails of doom that you have but you're even smaller than me. If we did get into a barny with the Others I'd probably be too busy worrying if you were okay to take care of myself."

Claire glanced around, trotted over to a tree and reached up on her tiptoes to break off a fairly hefty branch. Swinging it back and forth to get some leverage, she came back over to Charlie and affected a fairly soft hit to the side of his head.

"Dude!"

"Claire!"

"Jesus! That bloody hurt!" Charlie rubbed frenetically at the side of his head.Claire shrugged. "At least you know you don't have to watch out for me now."

"Too bloody right," he muttered.

"We should continue," Sayid said bluntly and began to lead them off. Hurley followed in his wake immediately but Charlie seemed loathe to move. Claire came back and took his hand, tugging him onwards.

"Come on. We won't be able to keep up if you sulk the whole way."

"Are you really here because you think I'm going to die?" Charlie said sourly. "Or are you just trying to fuck with my head?"

Claire pondered the question as she walked before she answered. "I'm here because when I'm with you I know that you're safe. When I can't see you, when I'm not around I don't know what could be happening and that scares me."

"So you still think that your psycho death-dream is going to happen?" Charlie asked.

"Possibly," Claire bit her lip. "That's why I'm here. Sorry for hitting you in the head before as well – I was just trying to prove a point."

"Yeah. Thanks for that. Way to change the subject by the way." Charlie looked broody but his voice had a teasing edge to it.Claire smiled nervously and pressed her lips to the side of his face where she had hit him with her stick. The nervousness of the unknown path ahead was beginning to press against her stomach but the feel of Charlie's hand in hers, tangible and warm reassured her that she was doing the right thing. In her dream, she had run screaming through the jungle and found Charlie bloody and half dead on the beach.

If it had indeed been a prophetic dream – she had beaten it at its own game.There would be no death on her first jungle trek with Charlie. She would see to that.


End file.
